Winner

I recently won one of those contests on TV, particularly the Starter Wife’s Starter Tips Promo. While I still have to claim my prize (since I missed the awarding event because of a sprained ankle), I want to rehash my tips here so that anyone who’s interested to follow my blogs could read it and wonder, now, how come she won?

The contest was writing tips on how to overcome- tadah!- a broken heart . Yes, you could gripe all you want but I’m still a winner, I’m still a winner…So here goes:

They say you meet someone for a reason. But when my dreamboat sank like the Titanic, I had to scramble for a life preserver; more so because I was seven months pregnant, virtually homeless and practically unemployed. And how did I survive? Read on.

1. Cry. Yup, it was the first thing I did when I finally confronted the thought that it’s all over. It’s some kind of validation that a failed relationship hurts like hell. I cried indulgently until crying eventually made no sense so I mixed and matched it with #2.

2. Seek out friends. Being alone gave me lots of room to beat myself up and wonder about what went wrong, what have I done to deserve this, and all those things that only fried my brains. Being with friends gave me perspective, moral support and better yet, people who indulged my crying fits. (Don’t overdo this though or friends would suddenly be unavailable once they smell that you’re coming over—again, and crying—again.)

3. Cut fast and cut clean. This was a sagely advice from one of my friends who put it as, “The faster you accept that it’s over, the faster you start rebuilding yourself.” Delicious. No use hanging on to things that will remind you of him and your relationship that’s already over. So, I stopped calling (all BS, anyway) , threw out all those trinkets and hid his picture deep down in my closet (Don’t look at me like that. They’re for our kid.) I also gave away his clothes to charity and sold his Discman (that was 1997) to bulk up my baby fund. See? Vengeance need not be bloody.

4. Make yourself whole, empowered and beautiful. Hell hath no fury…, right? But channeling all this anger to more productive things would prove to be more sustainable, more positive and takes less effort that concocting a complex convoluted plot to put him right back into your arms. Crochet, take up muay thai, skydive or anything you never got around to doing because you were with him.

5. Sue him for child support. Hey, he may not be accountable to you but you didn’t make that baby alone (or took out that loan or decided on that dog alone). It may not all be about the money (remember, you’re empowered) but you never know when your kid decides to take up Medicine or Space Walking. It’s all about accountability.


And then I found myself in the same position I was in seven years later. Oh well, at least, I still rose to the occasion.

Now, to get hold of my prize…