Winner

I recently won one of those contests on TV, particularly the Starter Wife’s Starter Tips Promo. While I still have to claim my prize (since I missed the awarding event because of a sprained ankle), I want to rehash my tips here so that anyone who’s interested to follow my blogs could read it and wonder, now, how come she won?

The contest was writing tips on how to overcome- tadah!- a broken heart . Yes, you could gripe all you want but I’m still a winner, I’m still a winner…So here goes:

They say you meet someone for a reason. But when my dreamboat sank like the Titanic, I had to scramble for a life preserver; more so because I was seven months pregnant, virtually homeless and practically unemployed. And how did I survive? Read on.

1. Cry. Yup, it was the first thing I did when I finally confronted the thought that it’s all over. It’s some kind of validation that a failed relationship hurts like hell. I cried indulgently until crying eventually made no sense so I mixed and matched it with #2.

2. Seek out friends. Being alone gave me lots of room to beat myself up and wonder about what went wrong, what have I done to deserve this, and all those things that only fried my brains. Being with friends gave me perspective, moral support and better yet, people who indulged my crying fits. (Don’t overdo this though or friends would suddenly be unavailable once they smell that you’re coming over—again, and crying—again.)

3. Cut fast and cut clean. This was a sagely advice from one of my friends who put it as, “The faster you accept that it’s over, the faster you start rebuilding yourself.” Delicious. No use hanging on to things that will remind you of him and your relationship that’s already over. So, I stopped calling (all BS, anyway) , threw out all those trinkets and hid his picture deep down in my closet (Don’t look at me like that. They’re for our kid.) I also gave away his clothes to charity and sold his Discman (that was 1997) to bulk up my baby fund. See? Vengeance need not be bloody.

4. Make yourself whole, empowered and beautiful. Hell hath no fury…, right? But channeling all this anger to more productive things would prove to be more sustainable, more positive and takes less effort that concocting a complex convoluted plot to put him right back into your arms. Crochet, take up muay thai, skydive or anything you never got around to doing because you were with him.

5. Sue him for child support. Hey, he may not be accountable to you but you didn’t make that baby alone (or took out that loan or decided on that dog alone). It may not all be about the money (remember, you’re empowered) but you never know when your kid decides to take up Medicine or Space Walking. It’s all about accountability.


And then I found myself in the same position I was in seven years later. Oh well, at least, I still rose to the occasion.

Now, to get hold of my prize…

The Eraserheads: A Requiem

It was like hooking up with a former lover and trying to find out if the magic is still there. But after the first set, I knew that it’s really all over. That’s how I felt when I watched Eraserheads: The Final Set, the supposedly final performance of the group.

People were already flocking to the SM Mall of Asia (MOA) Concert Grounds when we got there three hours before the set time of 8PM. Giant screens were already in place all around the venue. The stage was huge, probably an indication of what was to come. Booths and kiosks of the organizers littered the entire concert grounds. Kiosks with laser-printed signs that read “Tindahan Ni Aling Nena” (after one of the Eraserheads’ early hits) reeked of commercialism at its worst. The song was mainly about the social functions of a sari-sari store and not about some sponsor’s booth in the middle of a gigantic mall. People milled around them, anyway, buzzing over t-shirts and CDs, fans, burgers, SIM cards and health drinks. No concert paraphernalia? You know, night sticks, beach balls, blinking necklaces. What? I like them being around when the lights go dim and the lyrics give you that warm fuzzy feeling. The real “Tindahan Ni Aling Nena” could have sold one of those, even gin. Anyways…

By 7PM, fireworks lit up the sky as part of the SM Mall of Asia tradition. People clapped. “Oohs” and “Aaahs” spilled from their mouths as colors and lights filled the early evening skies. One hour to go. With legs cramping from standing, people quietly waited through another hour of commercials, MTV clips and House Rules. By this time, the glaring lights on top of the giant screen placed directly in front of our view of the stage were starting to bother me. I could hardly see anything going on onstage, I was starting to feel dizzy and I could feel the mother of all headaches starting to spread from my forehead. It was like standing under interrogation lights. I could have admitted to double murder just to make it stop.

By 8PM, my legs felt like they could not hold me up any longer and to my horror, MTV VJs came up and introduced the show. They were speaking in twangs I could not decipher and mangling Eraserheads song titles they were reading off their cue cards. Their cue cards could have been an inch thick from all the sponsors and spiels they mouthed off. And then…some more ads from telecom giant and music channel. It was a good time to bring out the Buddhist in me. And then finally the Eraserheads come onstage and they sing Magasin (which MTV VJ wrongly pronounced as Magazine). By the second stanza, fireworks burst from the stage. What the f--?! Magasin is something about a guy seeing his former lover on the pages of a men’s magazine. Note that during the time when the song came out, there was no local FHM or Maxim then, only the exploitative and tabloid-like Tiktik and the like. The song was semi-tragic for cripessake and then fireworks? After something like seven songs, the stage dims and from the screens, “Si Piolooo, naka-Talk n’ Teeeext…!” More ads from telecom giant and music channel. They could have hired an upcoming band to keep the show going with all those sponsors but nooo, they had to put in ad after ad after ad. I wanted to burn down the giant screens especially the biggest, brightest one in the middle of the grounds.

The concert was a success in terms of numbers—one hundred thousand people (or so, the organizers say). The only other time I saw that large a crowd was at EDSA II. And the celebrity attendance--- wow, it was like watching PBA with the camera focusing on celebrity after celebrity. Who cares if socialite /TV host cannot tell the Eraserheads apart from Parokya ni Edgar early on? So what if he cannot even sing along to Toyang? The entire show smelled of showbiz and all its pageantry – complete with Sunday musical show confetti and more firework extravaganza. I almost expected Zsa Zsa Padilla, Gary Valenciano, Regine Velasquez and Ogie Alcasid to come out and break out into chorus from that curtain of confetti. It was so unlike any of the Eraserheads concerts that I have watched.

But what saved the show were the songs, even though most of them were the ones made famous by MTV. I still love the Eraserheads and everything they stood for. That’s why I heart (read: love) Markus and Buddy most of all. They were the same as I remembered Eraserheads to be –quirky, edgy and always creative.

But the Golden Age of the Eraserheads had passed. The masa and the intellectuals who propelled them to success were missed out in this “farewell”. There were no mosh pits as sideshows. They even remorselessly burned down that piano featured on the album cover of Stickerhappy. They all played much better now, though and Raymund was a revelation, engaging the crowd and all, especially since Ely had on his deadpan expression, heart condition or none. (But what’s with the manliners these days? You know, eyeliners on real men like Ely and Raymund?) Ely (of Pupil), Raymund (Sandwich), Markus (Markus Highway) and Buddy (The Dawn) did put up a good show but not as memorable and as euphoric as Eraserheads would have done it.

And so, as my friend and I went home, tired and thirsty for beer, we talked about the good old days, when we were young and so were the Eraserheads. I realized that it was just about time that they ended the Eraserheads when they did. We all move on, we all grow up. It was good while it lasted. They did what they wanted-- no compromises and with no regrets --and everyone was better off for that. And with this, I say: Goodbye, Eraserheads, and thanks for all the memories.

I Love The Eraserheads

I write this hours before their supposedly final concert dubbed as, 'Eraserheads: The Final Set', driven by the thought of how much I really loved and still love this band. Was it 15 years ago when I first heard of them? They did not exactly fit the this-band-will-make-it formula, but Eraserheads did and not only did they make it big, they made Philippine music history.

But what made them tick? Ely (Buendia) was not the best singer in the land; more glaringly so when balladeers Martin Nievera and Gary Valenciano ruled the airwaves back then. None of them looked or even acted like stars - no mohawk, no glaring tattoos, no long hair and inverted crosses. They had no "act", none of them wore a skirt, no silly dancing-with-guitar onstage and rarely did they engage a crowd. They played around with synthesizers but there were no jaw dropping drum solos or scorching guitar riffs. But when the music gets started, no person (not even parents who came with their kids) would be caught sitting down. Mosh pits would form (yes, and they don't even play punk), girls would scream and everyone moved to how their music conducted them. And that's it. With Eraserheads, it's all about the music. Their songs have gone beyond who Ely, Buddy, Markus and Raymund are as individuals.

Who did not sing "Pare Ko" at one point in their lives? When Ely sings, "Gagawin ko ang lahat pati ang thesis mo...” , girls swoon- whether they have an idea of what a thesis is or not. When they sing about something, anyone could relate to it. They wrote about a lot of things simply but with a lot of expression. Their lyrics, at times, were raw, gritty, street smart. Sometimes, they were gentle, sweet, tragic but always intelligent. People laughed and cried at their songs. People can discuss about Eraserheads songs and philosophize or just grab a bottle or two of their favorite brew and simply sing along. Their songs could be over thought about or just simply taken in as they are. And that’s what I really love about them: no hype, just their lyrics and their tunes.

Tonight, I will watch their final concert and I bought the cheapest ticket. I do not need to see them. I would just want to feel that vibe once again- sing, dance and reminisce with people who love their music as well. And for a concert, that’s Ligaya.